Date: 2008-10-16 11:19 Subject: Transcript for last video post. Security: Public

So, I said a long time ago in my first video post that I was thinking about retiring Boogiepanda as an online identity. I've been using the name for almost a decade now, there is a lot of baggage associated with it. I tried for a while to move it into the realm of being my "personal life" online identity while developing a separate "professional life" persona, but it just doesn't fit my personality.

Some people go to work, and for the most part leave their personal life at home. Then the go home and leave the work mind-set completely. Some people do it to varying degrees, but for the most part I'm always projecting the same persona. I think 7-8 years ago, that wasn't really the case. There were huge parts of my personal life that I omitted from my interactions at work. Despite the fact that I liked the people I was working with, there was not a deep interpersonal bond. I did develop that kind of relationship with my direct boss over time, but most of my other coworkers were more of a friendly cohabitational relationship.

Boogiepanda was a retreat. It started off as an innocuous enough instant messenger handle, but over time it expanded like a tree taking root. The name originated from two characters.

The first was the father of Ranma from the Ranma 1/2. For those unfamiliar with the show, it is a cartoon where the main character falls under a curse where when slashed with water, he changes gender. Other characters in the show suffer similar curses, his father turns into a Panda, his nemesis turns into a pig, and so forth. The reference to this character is primarily superficial, as he turns into a panda and I happen to like pandas.

The second character was Boogiepop from a "light novel" series and anime of the same name. The reference to this character is a little more involved and intentional. Boogiepop (the character) represents a lot of themes I identify with. Boogiepop himself is an alter ego that only surfaces when needed.

I don't doubt the importance of layered personality in human society. Our ability to learn, and adapt behavior to match the social environment is probably one of our most advantageous evolutions along side a heightened sense of individualism. Behavior and personality are different, but interrelated. Personality is an observation of motivational, through, and behavioral patterns. It is part of the natural human tendency to assign meaning. We assign personality to others based on our perception of them. We also try to affect the perception others have of us.

So Boogiepanda, a created online identity is smoke and mirrors. It isn't all the different from the "hats" metaphor used to describe how people adapt to filling multiple, sometimes conflicting roles in their life. I've explored that method, I want to try something different. Let's take away the smoke and mirrors.

If I had such a horrible job that I needed that psychological separation, I think I'd prefer to just change jobs. The hat metaphor is useful, but as I've learned from experience in my job it isn't productive to try to section off different aspects of any role. I am staunchly against that. It is much more effective to integrate learning and methods across roles.

There is definitely a time and a place for Boogiepanda, he's not getting the axe so to speak. I am going to focus on driving more online interaction through another more transparent online identity.

So one of the projects I am working on is a sort of CMS for my primary site at the www4.ncsu.edu site. If you're familiar with that particular part of NC State technological history you might think, "How can you make a CMS on a web host that doesn't support server side dynamic scripts?" That is entirely the point! My aim is to make a browser based CMS. Clearly the part of the CMS that stores content will have to be server side, and that will be hosted on the people.engr.ncsu.edu site, but every other layer will be client side.

In addition to making a dynamic site on a static server, I'm going to focus on integrating different parts of my life experience together. I'll continue to use Livejournal, but on a new account: BornDigital. I'll also continue to build out Fabulous IT which is hosted on our University Library blogs. The final major piece of the puzzle is the questionably reverent Stuff White Mages Like. One online persona, a broad spectrum of personal facets. The Internet becomes a fully integrated part of social life, indistinguishable from the clothes on your back. That is a nutshell is the REAL Web 3.0. None of this hyper-bull.

So in short, so long, and thanks for all the fish! See you on the other side.


(side note, this was also my last Youtube video post as Boogiepanda in addition to being my last journal post to this Livejournal account. I did something different for this video. I had a transcript and used the PS3's Eye Create software to capture the video while teleprompting the transcript on the Wii Internet Channel. The result was a lot easier to edit, but turned out sounding more robotic than I would have liked. I plan on doing a more impromptu series of Youtube videos with the Borndigital account.)

Date: 2008-09-22 23:51 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

It's been a long, but I guess productive day. I'm glad tomorrow is game night. For anyone in the general Raleigh/Knightdale area looking for something to do on Tuesday nights, I go to the Game Connection (In front of the Home Depot of Knightdale off 64 Business/Knightdale Blvd. map) to hang out and play board/card games.

I also go to the CATTG meetings on NCSU campus on Thursdays.

In addition to trying out a demo of "The Last Guy" and "Civilization Revolution" for PS3 this evening. I started working on research for one of my Board game ideas (my third game). It will be rather involved. The goal is to have a reasonably accurate map, such that the game will help re-enforce geography learning. My initial idea is to have roughly 150 board positions, but that may prove to be too involved. Another issue is consolidating the population data and transportation data I've collected, not to mention the population data I still need to get. The mechanics for this game are simple enough... it is just the board design that will be rather difficult.

If I get really frustrated with it I can always go back to the first game I designed. It has a really simple design, but the mechanics are too simple. It needs a theme to make it a little less abstract.

My second game is still in limbo. I like the mechanics, but need a new premise for the game. The original idea spun way out of control (hundreds of cards) so I need to come up with a simpler, but expandable premise.

And, I wanted to mention that I'm in the process of switching Live journal accounts. I've decided to retire "Boogiepanda" as an online identity. It was cute for a long time but it doesn't really reflect the direction I want to go. There is "baggage" from a number of things over the past few years that I want to sluff off. I have a new (and paid :D) account I'm setting up and I'll add the friends from this account. For the last few months I've been developing accounts on a variety of social sites that are better oriented to integrating my professional and personal life. I tried maintaining them as separate for a while, but it doesn't work well, and it doesn't really make sense. I'm not "getting rid" of this account so much as just putting it on the back burner. I still have a direction I'd like to go with this particular online identity, but it is all tied up in projects I don't have enough time for. I dropped IMVU recently and that is freeing up a lot of time for other things.

Date: 2008-09-18 10:12 Subject: Fumbling Along Security: Public

I think I was in a slump. Things seem to have gotten better. The main problem that persists is that we leave the house at 9ish (though it should be 8:30) and don't get home until close to 11 Tuesday-Friday. If I do anything other than the bare-minimum those days either it cuts into sleep time or I'm running late the next day (hence 9ish).

Sometimes I wonder if the whole 1 car decision was the most prudent, but really I don't think we can afford two cars just yet. Definitely don't need the hassle of an unreliable vehicle, I don't regret getting rid of the old death trap one bit. We certainly save on gas and mileage, even as compared to the previous carpooling arrangement.

I would seriously consider biking to work and riding home if we had a Greenway that connected to anything reasonably close. If they ever connect the scary #19 to #5 it might work. I refuse to ride a bike in car traffic for any considerable stretch.

I got the PS3 recently. I haven't bought any games for it yet. The one I want most (LittleBigPlanet) doesn't come out until next month. I'm borrowing Folklore from my friend Steven at the moment. It is a neat game... it just doesn't quite know what it is. It's one part 11th Hour, one part Ghostwisperer, one part Alice in Wonderland, and one part Pokemon. I don't like the comicbook-esque cut scenes. Those fall horribly flat, and it is apparent the intent was to save budget and development time on real cut scenes. Game play (mechanics) are good, but since it doesn't really do too well on focusing it does feel a bit lackluster. The controls are decent, no whining yet.

I'll probably buy Folklore if I can find a good used copy. I also think I might look into Lair, haven't read any reviews on it yet. Donnie wants Jeopardy, which is a decent looking download title, but I think we'll need another controller to play together so that will definitely have to wait until next month. Civilization Revolutions is another possible title, but we also have the Wii, so might wait until that version is also out to see which is better (even if just in the controls arena).

I am really enjoying being able to enjoy my high definition screen with games. The Wii just doesn't really output an impressive level of detail. We probably won't bother with Blue-ray discs any time soon. Netflix wants an extra $1 per month and I have yet to see anything I really want available in that format.

Date: 2008-09-14 19:47 Subject: Another Post Already? Security: Public

Maybe I have too much free time now that I'm refusing to work overtime... right.

Beat Final Fantasy XII finally. I am completely apathetic about that game. I can't say that I hated it, or even disliked it, but I also can't say that I am overly fond of it. Basic system and controls really were pretty good. Graphics, as always, were top notch. The character design was hit or miss, but mostly hit. Music had mostly great if not overly subdued qualities. The basic ideas behind the plot were even solid. The layer that brings it all together on the other hand... was crap.

The plot of the story itself is a little too interwoven, like a really tacky wicker chair. The party of 6 was stitched together like a quilt and I never quite bought the camaraderie... or even the character development. Over all it was a highly polished, unconvincing, wonderful, crap-shoot of an experience.

The playability didn't have any major flaws like some of the more recent Final Fantasies, but the story wasn't as lovable or even memorable.

It's like a cake that turns out flat. Just disappointing, even if it is edible with all that frosting on top.

In other news, PS3 price drop means I should have a shiny new toy by the end of the week :D

Date: 2008-09-13 17:48 Subject: Failtube Security: Public

I was really, REALLY excited to learn about the new annotations tool for Youtube. I'm not certain that it actually makes the videos accessible to screen readers (they have a captions feature for that, but requires external software), but it is a great first step. I also don't think it would be hard for them to convert annotation text into captions.

The end result is a video with pretty slick word balloons superimposed on the video (and they can be turned off). Unfortunately, the tool is just not there yet. It might be a good start, and I think having done it one and struggled for hours, YES HOURS, on a single albeit verbose 10 minute video that I can work around most of the quirks. The fact remains it was a total and utter pain. I'm also pretty sure there have been server issues with Youtube the past few days.

You're owned by Google, there is no excuse for poor performance. All Google has to do is sneeze and shiny new servers appear.

The end result is satisfying, but I really don't see myself doing it on ALL my videos any time soon until they work out a LOT of the kinks.

(and yes, this is a VERY old video. It predates my transition to married status and my move to library land.)

Date: 2008-09-12 18:43 Subject: Gym Security: Public

I've finally started going back to the gym. I have yet to make it twice in a week yet, but that is the goal. I'm going tonight once my food settles.

On the plus side I also have two nights a week for gaming, Tuesday at the store in Knightdale and Thursday with the club on campus. I don't know how in the world that is going to work out with me trying to work on personal projects but it beats me sinking all that time into work.

It will also be interesting to see how that works out with classes next semester if I am able to apply courses taken before I am accepted into either of the masters programs I'm looking towards the degree.

I went to orientation for the Equal Opportunity Institute yesterday. I'm under the impression that participation in that program is something one volunteers one self for... but there were a couple of people that acted like they needed to go back and take a Sensitivity 101 class first.

Date: 2008-08-14 09:58 Subject: Be cause THEY ARE (coming) Security: Public

Some useful information for certain friends. This is your only warning.

www.zombiesarecoming.com

Date: 2008-08-13 21:07 Subject: Feels kinda wrong. Like Jerry Springer, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader Wrong. Security: Public

22

Date: 2008-07-30 10:20 Subject: Dare I Say It? Security: Public Tags: masters career library

"Grad School", That long put off next step in my career path. Before coming to the library I had been eying Technical Writing and Industrial Engineering pretty heavily. I've gone back and forth about whether I wanted to consider a Library Science degree. My co-workers on both sides of the graduate degree fence have differing opinions. Librarians and non-librarians alike caution me with the whole, "Do you really want to be a librarian?" just as I was dissuaded from pursuing a masters in education by my past teachers and family in the education field. Others are generally enthusiastic.

I can also see the wheels of fate turning. I get the sense that by pursuing this degree I am going to set into motion a repeat of events that played out in this department in the past.

The field of options also seems rather limited. I could have sworn someone told me there was a library degree here at state that was more management focused, but I have not found it yet. It isn't in the list of ALA accredited programs, which is what I am told is most likely the criteria I want to go by. ECU will soon have an online degree option that should be ALA accredited, but I've been told that the program at UNCG is in danger of losing accreditation. I've heard mixed things about the program at NCCU, though they do offer an MIS that is ALA accredited and I think I would prefer an MIS to an MLS. The program at UNC is of course more prestigious, but they don't seem to have many if any online options and I've been told the demands of that degree would preclude me from working full time while pursuing it, not an option I have right now.

I definitely get the impression that if I am going to stay here (in the Library) long term, i.e. more than a couple of years, I am going to have to pursue a Library degree to keep my longer term career goals on track. Non-librarians are marginalized and while I don't really like that, the fact is it happens everywhere in pretty much all work environments. The criteria do varry. In Engineering any Masters degree would have been sufficient, but with only a bachelors my options were rather limited. In other places a bachelors is more than enough to avoid marginalization, but most of those environments are too stagnant for my tastes.

Another problem is the looming adoption. I don't mean to say that like I am dreading adopting, I really want it. The issue is finances and time. If I had to choose between the two, which it really seems like I would, then I would obviously choose the adoption. I just don't feel like my current situation would be conducive to providing enough financially, and pursuing a degree.

I also don't want to come across as trivializing the Librarian profession, but it really does seem like those masters programs would be more of a path of least resistance at this stage in my life. In either case I feel like I have discounted the Technical Writing option before I have even given it a chance, and I keep shying away from Industrial Engineering for some reason.

Tick Tock

Date: 2008-07-08 22:00 Subject: Starting to crystalize Security: Public Tags: blog projects imvu littlebigplanet ffiv

So, I have a lot of things going on... in accordance with a previous observation I am working on simplifying my life a bit. I have cut some ties (but hopefully in no way have burned any bridges) with respect to some of my responsibilities with the IMVU community. I'm actually ramping UP with creating new products for that site. I still have the concerns that I vented in a previous post, but despite my issues (which is actually something I'm developing as a book idea) I still think that IMVU is a far superior attempt at virtual community as compared to things like Second Life. I really do want to pursue the book idea, but for now I'm shelving it because I need fewer projects in my life. Not more.

I'm going to try to get back to using this blog for my more right brained stuff. In general it seems like most of my boogiepanda accounts are better suited for this task, and as I find new sites I'll probably continue to use that account name for "personal" accounts.

While I don't actually like the concept of developing online "persona" because I feel like it is healthier psychologically to try to integrate one's different identities as much as possible, I am keeping separate accounts for more professionally driven and left brained work. There are just some people I would not add to a friends list on a social site if it was part of what I do for work. And yes, I have blog, twitter, facebook, skitch, and other accounts that are registered for professional sphere purposes :D

I like the freedom of having a personal account and a professional account. It is a shame they have t be separate things, but I guess that'll just have to be an "opportunity".

On the left brain side, I have a really bog code project that is almost at critical mass. There is one more (hopefully only one more) issue that I have come across lately that I have to work out and I'll be ready to start building. I've learned most of what I need to know to understand the Zend Framework, I'm getting re-acquainted with OO program practices, and I've done enough research in the other areas that ideas are starting to coagulate in my head.

Hopefully I can avoid another tangent. My left brained blog is going to focus on the professional projects, which I hope to keep to work hours plus two nights that I'm at work for car pooling reasons anyway. That leaves Monday night, Saturday, and two other nights a week for personal projects and hopefully (HOPEFULLY) I can devote Sunday to non-project time on a regular basis.

That last part will be hard.... I always have to be doing SOMETHING.

Oh, and amazingly enough I discovered there is someone I know that is actually MORE fanatically excited about the Final Fantasy IV remake for Nintento DS than I. In all fairness I feel the same way about Littlebigplanet on the inside that you felt about Final Fantasy when you banged the steering wheel like a maniac, but the key point is, I am keeping it all on the inside (ON THE INSIDE!!!!!!! OMGLITTLEBIGPLANETIWANTYOUNOOOOOOOOOOOOW)

Date: 2008-06-30 23:58 Subject: Dystopia Security: Public

It is funny how a couple of hours can really change your frame of mind. It almost didn't happen. I could have kept my head buried in the sand, eagerly optimistic as ever. When I clicked a link and filled out a form last week, the conversation I had tonight was the farthest thing from my mind. I was thinking, "gee it would be nice if I could cash out some of my virtual credits and get a PS3, or maybe an EeePC".

Instead I got a wakeup call.

The complexity of virtual commerce came crashing down around me as I heard exactly what kinds of nightmares the people that take my virtual money and give me real money have to put up with. What was a fun pass-time for the last few years now seems like a really bad delusion. Its the kind of thing that can really shake a person up. On the one hand, it has helped me reaffirm my commitment to some things, but makes me really question others.

It makes me wonder if there was anyone in the tobacco industry that did a complete 180 the second they realized the evils they were unleashing on the world. After tonight I have to question whether I want to be one of the actors making virtual commerce look glamorous. I have a good day job, I do the other stuff for fun. Its really easy for me to shrug and say, "eh" when things go boom.

I also have a lot of other questions weighing on my mind now. Fortunately for me it is after midnight and the real world calls. I have to be up and at work in the morning.

Date: 2008-06-25 13:03 Subject: Wonkeyness Security: Public Tags: birthday, mabinogi, mood, twitter, work

Oddly, despite being a pretty good birthday yesterday my mood was out of sorts.

It could be that I was just off schedule. I stayed with my parents Saturday/Sunday/Monday night and for some odd reason woke up at 6:00am on the actual day. I had already put in to take half the day off, so I didn't really start work until after lunch.

It could also have been a total sugar crash... Had doughnuts, coffee (for the first time in 4 weeks), and sweet tea all before 1 and then decided that was entirely enough sugar for the day.

It could also be a number of other things, but I don't want to get into that too much less I have a repeat of the last time I aired certain forms of discontent over the blogways. I don't need the drama ;D

I finally have office space with natural lighting, on the down side the new commute situation means that I spend 11 hours a day in the general work vicinity not including the interlaced Lunch/Dinner times. That will be less of an issue once I get around to getting gym access, and find a gaming group that will fit into the schedule.

I got this book for my birthday.


So, after playing Mabinogi for a few weeks I have come to a few conclusions:

1) Despite low production quality it has some great design choices.
2) It is relatively easy to get past the MMO addiction.
3) I'm sad I haven't found anyone else all that interested in it because as with many games you are rather limited in what you can do with solo play.
4. Lack of content is the game's main shortfall, but at least they make regular updates.

The two things about Mabinogi that make it a bit different are the way the system emphasizes strategy (though this is hurt slightly by less than stellar controls) and the fact that progress is focused on building skills rather than leveling. You can (and need to) level, but the biggest boost to stats by-in-large has to do with the way you develop skills. You gain skill points by leveling, but you also gain them by aging and you don't have to play to age!

And, though I hate to admit it... it is remotely possible that the supposed Xbox port of Mabinogi + My Beautiful Katamari + The Catan/Carcasonne online games _might_ compel me to buy an Xbox 360... but that would require that the Mabinogi port has good controls. My Beautiful Katamari on the other hand has received less than stellar (but not bad) reviews.

And aside from games I've been spending way too much time on work related projects. I'm trying to bring a little more balance into my life, but I suppose I might as well take advantage of motivational forces while I have them. I built a (NCSU) Sysnews twitter bot (http://twitter.com/sysnews) by cobbling together twitter, the RDF feed out of sysnews, PHP/Curl and Snipr. It still needs a bit of work, but I got the OK to put it on one of our production servers as a croned script once it is ready. I also got the go-ahead to work on a similar project for publishing out new books available in the library through twitter, but since it is a 'weekend' project I'm going to plan to do it in a couple of weeks since I am trying to get back to more of my non-work projects ;D

Date: 2008-06-03 09:23 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

I should probably post more often, it seems like only a couple of my friends still post regularly... I have been posting quite a bit on twitter. It just seems to fit my life style better.

I am back in the throws of MMO addiction. This time it is a game called Mabinogi (vague references to the Welsh mythical literature by the same name... very vague). It is a free to play option game, but within about 6 hours I was convinced that I wanted to run out to target and get a 10$ Nexon card so I could have a cooler looking character and plan to go the monthly service route if I can get any of my friends interested in playing with me. The game is no World of Warcraft, but it is one of the better "free" games I have seen. I like the graphics, game play is pretty good, though the controls are actually lacking. It has a pretty decent amount of content as well, but most of the available content has not been release on the US server yet (they just started the first expansion a month or two ago and release the second within the past few weeks). The expansions are free, you just pay a one time fee to get more character appearance options and/or the ability to 'rebirth' your character. You can also elect to buy a selection of monthly services that enhance (mostly make easier) the game play experience. I think there are also individual items you can purchase but have not run into that yet.

Aside from that, I have been doing more gaming lately. I had quit the D&D group I was in, but schedule is shifting so I might be looking to get back into that again.

Work is ok. Been doing more developing lately, but that is starting to drag out. I decided to make everything as object oriented as I could and as usual that has been a mixed blessing. It takes more time, but will probably pay off in the long run if I can get everything off the ground. I'll be glad when this week is over, got lots of changes looming, but they are not going to be happening this week. ._.

Date: 2008-03-28 09:20 Subject: As usual, Security: Public

Everything is going way too fast.

We did a departmental re-org a week or so ago, so now I am part of a "team" rather than being a lone developer (which is good). I also am technically no longer as closely associated with "desktop support" and more so with ILS and business process support. Aside from that I am admittedly not crazy about the way we are structured, but it is passable given the limited nature of org-charts.

Our department lost some positions, two though one was vacant at the time. We also got to unload some projects along with those positions. My project list is now looking a little less daunting.

Hopefully all the reading I've been doing is going to pay off. I feel like I have opened a few mental doors. One of the ideas I'm wrestling with right now has to do with database structure. I want something highly normalized (DKNF, or as close as possible), and I want to try to not break the basic tenants of relational databases. I think that there is perhaps some understanding I have gained from reading (light) on aspect oriented programming. I have in my head ideas for "database" aspects, cross cutting tables. So far it is nothing that violates DKNF, so it should be fine. I know that we will probably run into issues in the way of MySQL feature support. It is nothing that can't be overcome with PHP/MySQL really easily (in fact I did the same basic thing with a design feature in developing TOTM), but now that we have agreed to use the ZEND framework, I guess I'll have to make sure what I'm doing can be implemented there without a kludge.

So far the aspects I am looking at are notes, tags(keywords), history, role, and specialization/generalization. The long term benefit to Aspect oriented databases should be abstracted optimization. If the DBMS is aspect aware, it can reconfigure the DB's aspect tables automatically to scale with the needs of the system.

Time to ask the magic 8-ball about an MIS degree.

Also, Domokun is no longer lonely. Companion Cube came in the mail yesterday.

Date: 2008-02-16 09:52 Subject: Oops (I think I did it again). Security: Public

It is interesting how the thing that helps you achieve such clarity can blind you.Kind of like a moth and a flame I guess.

So I've been in the Library for almost 6 months now. That alone is surprising. Time just really flew by. I knew some things were going to change, and I knew the focus of this job was drastically different than my previous position. What I didn't plan on is letting myself get so wrapped up in it and losing sight of my goals again.

It is great to work in a place where you're needed to solve problems, not come up with ways to force people to accept your help because they are too stubborn to adapt to change.This new job is liberating because the librarians really need help, and they are not ashamed to admit it. The few that are are not really a problem... I arrived at a count of 23 distinct projects this week. With that kind of need, those that don't want help clearly won't have to worry about turning it away.

When your boss says, "Wow, I guess we need two of you", that's job security.

So I did the leg work, I've been working on the projects I could tackle while analyzing the onces that would take significant time. I have been making connections, reading up (uh, it's a Library, Hello...), trying new things. Some other personal projects slid because, lets face it, I'm not all work and no play, but I had this weird dream right before I woke up and I wasn't sure what it was about until I sat down with a pile of 20 some books I checked out this week on things ranging from extreme programming,to RUP.

In the dream I woke up naked, on my own property, and Donnie was there, but nothing else was. No house, no stuff, no neighbors, just trees and rocks. It was like everything man-made was gone and I was starting from scratch. No big deal, but then I start to think about water (I live like 900 feet from the Neuse) and food. Water wasn't so hard, the only thing is...if all the man-made stuff was gone then were the pollutants? Would just boiling the water make it safe? Fire is easy, but would I be able to make a bowl out of rock?

Food was a worse proposition. I can't remember the last time I've seen naturally occurring food that didn't require hunting. Hunting is all fine and well, but not something you get good at over night. Very few people garden these days, I haven't seen an apple tree or a grape vine, or a pecan tree since I was young.

At some point another dream, a musical about zombies, interjected. The back to nature dream stuck with me though. I eventually dragged myself out of bed, too the dogs out, and sat down to read. I started on "A Practical Guide to Extreme Programming" (Astels,Miller,Novak 2002) which is much less popycock-commie-bullshit than the book by Kent Beck I read Thursday night.

Then I realized, I kid you not as corny as it sounds, "I'm not farming my own IT garden."

I tend to think it really stupid analogies like that. Sometimes they come out less silly sounding, sometimes they are really good metaphors. Despite being an awkward turn of phrase, it pretty well put the dream in perspective. I've always been a grass roots technology advocate. I'm helping the Library get there, but I'm not really cultivating it. I'm going to the technology grocery store of organic-source solutions and making healthy meals for a junk-food addicted crowd, but I'm so busy trying to get them off the crank that I'm not making time to plant some seeds.

One of my projects is working towards that goal, but it is a veritable holy grail. I don't really know that I'll ever see this one to fruition. I'm certainly going to give it my best shot, but if it is that hard I'm not convinced it is really grass roots. If someone had started framing this idea 60 years ago (it is based on technology principles that go back at least that far) then it might be, but It feels like hunting with my bare hands. The direction technology has gone is so at-odds with this idea most of the knowledge I had wouldn't cut it. I've read about 40 different books trying to relearn technology to better frame the idea. I feel like I'm on the right track, but with another 20 books to dig through I have to wonder if I am barking up the wrong tree. I'm on the verge of being able to implement a prototype, but that could take another few months.

So without realizing it I just kept on hunting, naked, with my Ubuntu spear, trying to get some food for the technologically malnourished. But in the meanwhile, the garden still went unattended. I can't hunt and farm at the same time. The best I can do is switch them out, do a little of one and a little of the other.

So one way or another, this coming up week I am going to do three things:

Get back into the communities I have neglected,

start working on the Library Technology project I'm supposed to be doing, but haven't been able to make time for,

and form an on-campus community.

I was recently (a few months ago) approached with a pretty high-up job opportunity.Not an offer so much as a green light that would have put me in the final selection. I expressed interest (more like appreciation) but made it clear that it wasn't the right time for me. I am definitely looking to climb. My first 5 years of working I didn't really think about job advancement. Then I got passed over a couple of times and decided not to wait for hand outs. Now I'm struggling with considerations. I want to be a manager, eventually, but not if that means abandoning my convictions.

Family is number one for me. Everything I do, I do for the betterment of people in general but also to ensure that I have job security, the kind of usefulness that means I will never have to hunt and peck for a job. I want to be able to adopt soon and start a family and I don't think one has to invest all their time in work at the expense of time with family if time is invested wisely.

I also feel strongly about the appropriate and mindful application of technology. I know that managers trade off a level of technical expertise to get to where they are, but I don't think they should sacrifice technical competence.My biggest struggle right now is finding time to pursue a masters which juggling everything else. I don't see how I can consider myself to be gardening if I don't however.

Lastly, and pardon my French, but a spoon full of sugar really does make the fucking medicine go down. IT sucks, because the real world sucks.In every job that must be done, however, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and, snap, the job is a game (of sorts).There are two distinct skills that have to be cultivated for this approach to be valid: finding the game, and being good at the game. Thank you, Mary Poppins.

Now, back to the garden (after I drag my husband out of bed before his company arrives).

Date: 2007-12-20 09:15 Subject: Those kooky kids and their technology... Security: Public

Well 2007 was a total bust for livejournaling. To be honest I was just not invested in the technology, not invested in the process, and had way too many other things going on. I guess that is what happens when you have an imperative project thrust upon you, a pet project you really want to see to fruition, and change jobs all in the same year.

I've really enjoyed the change of perspective this new job has afforded. Supporting librarians and supporting engineers really are like day and night (in no particular order or connotation). Giving up perk technology was also an interesting experience. It is fascinating to observe coping mechanisms operate from the inside. I substituted a Wii for my Powerbook for a while, contemplated getting an iPod touch until I realized they don't come with blue-tooth yet (which the iPhone does), and finally settled on trying to make shoestring computing one of my pet projects at work.

My sense of technology has really changed. I suppose it helps that the direction I am going is a lot closer to my roots in c64 and Amiga than most of the computing I performed in my early adult life. I had gotten comfortable on Mac when suddenly I was faced with not having one any more I preemptively bought a Mac Mini for home. I have to really think hard to decide if it was a functional technology decision or brand loyalty.

One of my friends said something earlier this year that really struck me, referring to someone rather high up on the university IT totem he said, "[that person] has no clue what technology is for."

So what is technology for? I somehow doubt there is a finite set of prescribed uses that are appropriate. Maybe he meant that this person has a penchant to abuse technology, or reading into the context more likely to advocate the abuse of technology. So then are there a finite set of applications of technology that are universally inappropriate?

I was talking to another of my friends at lunch this week and really felt like we (society in general) are almost to the breaking point where computers in their current form are no longer special. They are just another tool and pretty soon people are going to care about operating systems, manufacturers, and flavors of implementation about as much as they care about car makers or tool brands. We (again society in general, of which I will take this opportunity to remind you I am a meticulously begrudging participant) already seem to make a lot of decisions based on fashion over function.

I have the makings of another book stuck in my head now. I'm not sure if this one will make it out before it fades but time allowing I'll certainly try.

So I guess 2008 is going to be about trying to wrap my head around some sort of unified theory of structured data and workflow, and on the power of ideas, and how not to use technology. I still want to present "Fabulous IT", but I think I want to do it as an actual presentation and not a prank.

IT can be pretty damned fabulous when done right, and the great thing is there are lots of different ways to pull it off. I have a pretty good idea of what my role in the library is going to be now, I'm just trying to think of a way to articulate it that doesn't involve comparison to some other celebrity, because, let's face it, they all suck.

Date: 2007-10-29 11:56 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Well, new job is going great. Halloween party was a blast. Live is busy.

Oh, and I have a Wii.

Posting a lot more on Twitter these days. 140 character limit is a blessing in disguise :D

Date: 2007-08-14 22:42 Subject: Been kind of non-active lately.... Security: Public

Been busy. Work was rather crazy for a while (like all year). I am however switching jobs at the end of the month (on the 24th actually). There are a lot of reasons for the move, and I don't think that any one really stands out. I've enjoyed working for ITECS for the past 7 years and have not entirely written off the possibility of working there again at some point.

If I am to ever become one of the campus IT barons however, I think it is imperative to start my climb to power now ;D

My work for the next two weeks is focused on positioning. I'm not going to let the work that I have shouldered for the past 6 months to go to waste. It was largely work that I did not want to take on and by golly someone else is going to suffer ;D Honestly, this summer has been really good aside from the finger breaking code scramble. I think the program is my best work yet, and as with everything I do, it's beauty is the seeming simplicity of it. It pretty well culminates what I have been trying to accomplish since I started working at ITECS, a solid solution to a really modern problem: the web.

Let's face it. The web sucks. Sure, it's fun to play on and visit now and then, but working on the web isn't really any more or less pleasant than sanitation work (but thankfully it pays well). I don't say this because I dislike working on the web, but rather because the stupidity that can come along with it is maddening. I am reminded of something someone said to me recently (though I am not reminded of whom said it...) "The more people that become involved in anything, the more stupid it becomes." This proportional relationship pretty much epilogues my year to this point.

I know understand why people change jobs. I certainly don't see myself becoming a career frog.

Somehow the other half of my six pack of Kirin seems to be calling my name... but I think I'll have a fruit pop instead. They are damn good, especially the strawberry ones.

And I need to get one more watermelon milkshake before the season is over. :D

Date: 2007-06-20 13:06 Subject: Ooops, links are such trivial things. Security: Public

Of course, you wouldn't want to see the whole gallery of wedding pictures. Duh. I'm a moron.

Date: 2007-06-18 11:02 Subject: Everyone loves a wedding :D Security: Public

I know I do.